Expectations never expected

So, before all of this happened, I was just this girl trying to go unnoticed.

I never wanted any attention from those who are not part of my circle. (Not, entirely zero attention 'cause it's kinda suffocating when you're in a crowded room full of people you're acquainted with and you've got no one to talk to). Small talk is very much appreciated especially when I'm alone and got no book on my hand.

But to the point of having expectations from someone so significant... unbelievable. And there's two of them.

The first one is the professor that I mentioned on my first and second entry here.

The second is my favorite professor: Sir Director (let's just call him that). Sir Director is a very inspiring professor. All he ever wanted was for his children (he calls us 'child') to grow and improve. He's always there to water us with the knowledge we need. He's very kind to top it all.

Sir Director, is a little bit cold to me lately. It's probably because I wasn't been able to attend his class last week and wasn't been able to perform my monologue, too. (He teaches us "Broad140: RTV and Film Performance".) Every student of him under that subject are required to do solo-acting, duo, or trio.

Mine, I picked duo and had ate Giecel (She's a Fil-Am and she's very good) as my partner and we performed. That was last last last week ago. After our performance, our sir director challenged us to do monologue instead of duo. He said we had the potential and it will be better if we act alone.

And then, that's when he started ignoring me. Of course, I had my faults, too. I didn't try to perform in front of him again just like I promised to. But he was expecting more from me. And that's something I don't think I can give.

Aside from him challenging me to perform alone, he's also asking me if I could perform in English. Heck, on writing I still suck, what more on speaking?

They're just expecting much from me. And I don't want to ruin their expectations but, really, they're heavy.


And dear readers, I'm sorry if there are grammatical errors here or whatever. My head is aching and the LCD is making it worse. I don't have time to edit this.

Well, I rarely edit my stuff here. So expect a lot of grammatical errors.